Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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