No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Success! We fucked roommates!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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