I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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