so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
