Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
