would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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