Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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