How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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