Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
