Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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