It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
