Me too!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
