my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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