i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm both gender and math confused
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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