Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
