hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
