I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize