Your favorite bartender is back from prision
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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