So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
