Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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