So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
wow bdsm is so cute
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
