Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
