the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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