Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
