I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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