Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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