Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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