just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
