FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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