Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
