watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
