dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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