You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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