We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
