I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
