I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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