Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
