I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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