I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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