the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
