Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
