im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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