I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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