somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
