found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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