Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
