Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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