I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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