Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
