I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
