my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
