I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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