I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
