i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize