yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
