heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
