week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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