Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
