im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
